It’s Just Not Fair!

WHAT IS FAIR?

Mirriam-Webster defines fair as; marked by impartiality and honesty; free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism; conforming with established rules.  Not liking the answer is not the same thing as not being treated fairly.  Or to put it another way, not getting your way is not the same thing as not being treated fairly.  The best Clinical Director I know once said this to me and it has stuck with me.  Staff used to accuse her (and me) of being unfair all the time.  Staff tends to play the ol’ “it’s not fair” or “he/she isn’t fair” when they don’t like the answer they get.

Think back to being a child and wanting something in a department store or grocery store.  You asked mom or dad to buy it for you.  They immediately responded with a firm “no”.  To which you replied (or screamed) “it’s not fair”.  Come on…..admit it.  It happened to you AT LEAST once!   As you got older, that parent would respond by saying “life’s not fair”.  Truer words were never spoken!  Life. Is. Not. Fair.  I’m using this analogy to point out that you may be working with children.  They might look like adults, but I assure you it’s a trick!  Keep that in mind and you will better be able to handle the tantrums.

PERCEPTION

Now, there are leaders who truly are not always fair.  That is something to self-reflect upon and decide if you fall into that category.  If you allow personal feelings to interfere with decisions, you are not being fair.  If you give preferential treatment to your friends or people you like more than others, you are not being fair.  If you do these things, own it and make it a goal to change that behavior.  You can’t always give staff what they want or demand, but you can always be fair in your decision.  You will also have times where staff perceive that the rules or policies are applied fairly.  Perceive is the key word there.  I have countless examples of times when I was accused of not being fair.  Most often it is the perception and not the reality of the situation.  But a person’s perception is their reality.  This is a tough one.

The best way to address this is by using a prevent defense.

• Know and understand the policies and handbook
• Document (this word is my nemesis, but it is so, so important)
• Research and have data available if possible
• Think carefully and avoid responding hastily

DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT

Documenting is not hard, but it is the thing I struggle with the most.  Improving my documentation is one of my top goals for this year.  When you have a conversation with someone about anything important or that could potentially become an issue, just jot down a few sentences.  OneNote is a good option for this.  You don’t have to write a book but having notes to refer to will always be more effective than your memory.  As we all know, memory fades over time and is never 100% accurate.

ARM YOURSELF

When you can show someone why the decision is fair, you eliminate the negative perception.  Have the policy or handbook page available to present to the staff member when you are discussing your decision.  If it is related to something that the policies don’t address; research and have data available.  A general example of this would be when staff think they are being scheduled unfairly.  Pulling schedules and looking at timecards are an easy way to prepare for the conversation.  If the employee is correct, you should confirm that it was unintentional.  If that is the case, you should apologize and remedy the situation immediately.  The important part is that the employee understands there was not intentionally unfair treatment occurring.  If it was intentional, you have bigger problems and will need to immediately purchase a lot of wine or chocolate (or both)!

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